Discreet Mistress works because members trust each other enough to be honest about what they want. These guidelines protect that trust. Every member agrees to them when they create a profile, and they apply to profiles, photos, messages, chat rooms and any meeting arranged through the site.
Adults Only
Every member must be 18 or over. Profiles, photos and conversations must never involve or refer to anyone under 18, including in roleplay or fantasy. Any account that breaks this rule is removed and may be reported to the authorities.
Consent
- Agree limits before anything physical, and respect them.
- Consent can be withdrawn at any time, by anyone, including in the middle of a scene.
- A role, a title or a profile is never permission for anything.
- Accept a no, or no reply, without argument.
- Consent given while drunk, high, pressured or misled is not consent.
Consent applies online too. Do not send sexual messages or images to someone who has not shown that they welcome them, and do not keep steering a conversation towards a scene after she has changed the subject. Our guide to negotiating with a mistress explains how to talk about limits clearly.
Honesty
Use your own photos and accurate details. Do not pretend to be someone else, misstate your age, or hide a relationship status that matters to the person you are talking to. If you are in a relationship, say so if it affects what you can offer, and respect a woman's decision if it changes her answer.
Respect
No harassment, threats, hate speech or abuse. Do not send explicit images to anyone who has not asked for them. Do not message the same person after they have blocked or declined you, and do not create new accounts to reach someone who has blocked you.
A dominant woman sets the terms of her own dynamic, but no member, of any role, may use that dynamic as cover for abuse outside what was agreed. Submissive members are owed the same respect and the same right to stop.
Privacy
Never share another member's messages, photos or personal details, on or off the site. Do not try to identify members, find their other accounts, or contact their family, friends or employer. Do not take or share photos of anyone at a meeting without their clear agreement.
No Payment Between Members
Discreet Mistress is a dating site. Do not offer, request or advertise paid sessions, and never ask another member for money, gifts, tributes or financial details. Professional services and commercial advertising are not allowed. If someone asks you for money, stop replying and report the profile.
Safety at Meetings
Meet in a public place first, arrange your own way there and back, and tell a friend where you will be. Nothing physical should be assumed at a first meeting. Our first-meeting safety plan sets out each step.
Profiles and Photos
Your profile should describe you honestly and be yours alone. Use your own recent photos, not images of someone else, and do not include anything that shows another person without their agreement. Keep your real name, workplace and contact details out of your username. Explicit content belongs only where members have chosen to see it.
Reporting and Enforcement
Report any profile or message that breaks these guidelines from where you see it, and block the person if you want contact to stop. The support team reviews reports 24 hours a day and can warn, suspend or remove accounts. Serious cases may be passed to the police. If anyone is in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services first. Read more on our safety and consent page.